The Forest of Faith

Today starts my re-entry into the Forest of Faith. Much overgrowth has occurred in my absence. More creatures, good and ill may have taken refuge in the dense foliage, yet still I must enter if I want to find my way home. Out here in the clear flat lands, the journey has been relatively easy outside of inclement weather on occasion. I have for the most part, had the advantage of seeing what lies ahead, granting me control of my spiritual destiny. However, all of this changes today, for I stand before what appears to be a heavily robed cavern. Fear grips my breath. I have been through many of these patches of density before, with each one I enter being longer, thicker, and more perilous. I do not relish this part of the trek, as fear has the advantage. Little light trickles through the leafy canopy, the air is heavy requisitioning slower travel. The nights are cold, damp, and scary, with even the brightest torch nothing more than a small match stick in the murky night. No, I do not want to enter this place, it is altogether an uncomfortable experience. But pictures of home dance in my mind and You running to greet me on the other side, spurn my foot to its first step. You have equipped me well for this journey as I realize this unpredictable sod has trapped some of my brethren and other wayfarers. This journey isn't about me only, but a rescue mission for those who have called out to you. If I approach this task from the perspective of finding and helping others, it loses its power over me. Looking for others to help causes my focus to ignore the scrapes and bumps my body endures. When my eyes are on You and home, the path seems shorter. However, since I have traveled woods such as these before, the encouraging excitement of new discovery has been replaced with tactics of survival. Oh Dear One, please help me through this place. Ever remind me You are the One who created the open clear meadow and the Forest of Faith. Whisper Your Faithfulness through the stillness of the fauna, let me see there is no night where You dwell and You do not sleep. Remind me of the benefits of embarking on this pilgrimage, of how my muscles will be strengthened, my lungs expand, my heart learning to beat slower and more evenly during a crisis, and my night vision become acute, so acute that I will see You in any light, able to distinguish Your silhouette from impostors set on my destruction. I am frightened, My Love, as the cold moldy odor wraps around my senses here at the entrance. I can already feel my skin growing cold. Yet the sun is moving and I must enter before dark. So, I'm counting on You to see me through this section of trials on my way home to You. I have little to no cellphone reception in this place, so I must trust you will hear me when I call and know you have equipped me rightly for the skirmishes ahead. Perhaps this time I should look for the beauty in this wood instead of the perils and maybe I will be out in the ope fresh air before I know it....

Pen in Hand or Keyboard on Lap

This past April, a long standing dream came true. A novel of ten years in the making was published. "Did you say 10 years?!" Yes, you heard correctly. What started as video scenes playing in my head evolved into chapters of a story I never expected to see. The most amazing feature was how the chapters of this fictitious murder mystery fell into place since it was not written in a linear fashion, ie. chapter 1, 2, or 3. They were written as I saw them, unrelated to each other like puzzle pieces scattered on the floor. Yet, in the end they interlocked to bring a bigger picture into view. "Why are you telling us all this?" you may ask. Because life, at least my life seems to operate the same way. It doesn't always make sense, such as presently. Chapters of sorrowful separation plop right in the middle of what appeared to be stable familial relationships. Or, joyful expectations erupt during a time of mediocre stasis. They seem disconnected, out of place, chaotic episodes which have no order in the time line of the life I've dreamed. Yet, they remain. I tell myself they will be edited in the final draft, but the Author and finisher of my faith, the true writer is the one who will make that decision... You see, He is the One writing this book, this girl, and somehow, these rogue chapters I cannot fathom fitting in my life, He knows right where they belong. He knows the end of my story, I only see chapters. He sees the finished product, the puzzle complete. He will be the one to edit the final draft. So, though I do not understand the piece being written now, I must be at peace, trusting the Grand Writer of all when He says, "Trust Me, Beth, I know how your story ends." And when my story is over, I will look back and see how this dark piece made the glorious pieces seem brighter in its contrast. Therefore, dear one, though the night seems overwhelming and dawn a long way off, know that dawn is coming and all the experiences you encounter have a place in the book He is writing in you... Ever and Always...Beth

Tried by Fire

Sitting by my cozy fire, I needed a piece of scrapwood to enhance the temperature. Searching through the "junk" wood, I came across what appeared to be a piece of a cabinet door. The weather worn slim grainy piece had a light blue shiny ceramic handle screwed in the middle of it. Hesitent to toss it in, concerned the knob would melt into some ungodly toxic glob, I wondered if it would survive the trial. Impulsively, I tossed the thing in, under the hottest part of the blaze.
The next day, after the ashes had cooled, I shoveled out the remains and found to my amazement the knob had no indication of harm. It was even still shiny. The screw which held it fast to the doomed board was gone (usually metal fixtures remain). My only guess is the fire was too intense for the weak metal.
Ah, then the Spirit of God brought in into focus. The knob was unscathed because it had been fired before in its creation. The heat of the kiln was more intense and the piece was subject to that heat for a longer duration of time. This made it "untouchable" by anything my wood stove could throw at it.
Now, the life lesson. We all would love to skip through a trumoil free live, however, if we are never pressurezed in the kiln of life, when catastrophic events happen, we would disintegrate under their weight. However, God has a better plan for His people. He allows and sometimes sets up hot situation so we can be "proofed" for the real tests of life.
So, if you are in a "hot spot" and wondering why, consider it a gift so when tougher times come, when all around you is ash, you will emerge untouched, brilliant in the grace of God.

Blessings to you
Beth

For Jason 11/06/2009

Dearest Jason,
Why have you gone from us this day? What lies finally persuaded you that death was to be sought over life? Was it only the lies or their consistent hounding? I know their seduction, especially to the rebellious part of our will. It's hard to wait on God when our lives seem to fly by unnoticed. But that too,is a lie...our lives are never unnoticed, but satan's flowered tongue will make it seem so.
So what was it, Jason, what wooed your eyes away from Jesus? Was it the circumstances around you; a desire unmet, loneliness, trying to rejoice over someone else's hope fulfilled when your own hope was differed? What lie took your eyes off the One who promises peace? For it is in those moments when our eyes stray, we are most vulnerable.
I miss you, Jason, your presence is gone, so too the love you so freely gave.
Be at peace, my friend, now, in the One who's very presence is peace.

Loving you always...
Beth

New Every Morning

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lamantations 3:23

"WHAAAAAAA!" I could hear my four year old granddaughter wail last night in a fit over some offense she perceived coming from her mother's hand. It had been a long day of travels and firefly chasing, leaving the young one exhausted. Her complaints continued escalating after brief moments of muffled sobs in which her mom was explaining the reasons for whatever course of action was being taken at the time. Amazed at the patience this loving mother has, for the rantings continued while she also attended to a new born son, I never heard her raise her voice to the wee girl, but gave her the space she needed to learn.

Sitting in my little area off my room this morning, I could hear this young mother speaking sweet words to her new son who was crying for his breakfast. His sister has not yet awaken, but when she does, I know, from past experience what she will find. Her mother will welcome her warmly into the new day, leaving the night's unpleasantry packed solidly away in the closet of the past as if it never happened. The only remnants that will remain will be the positive lessons learned. This sweet woman will sweep away any hurt she endured into the waste basket of non essentials.

My granddaughter, once aware of her tired behavior the night before could be afraid to meet her mother face to face, ashamed of her hurtful antics; much like those who are abused. I said could...for she won't be. The reason isn't because she is uncaring or un-regretful of her actions. On the contrary, this little girl is quite sensitive of such things, apologizing to bugs she accidentally steps on. No the reason is, she knows the love her mother has for her and she's confident that nothing can destroy that love, not even her. How can she be so sure? Because it has been tested and demonstrated to her over and over again. Instead of reluctance, she eagerly seeks her mama out, cuddling close to her. She knows she's forgiven and whatever happened between them cannot alter their bond, though her "fun" activities have been restricted for a few days - natural consequences for her actions, teaching her it was her behavior not her person-hood that was bad. What a perfect environment to learn about life in.

We too are given such a nurturing environment to grow in. God, my God, looks at me the same way and you. Perhaps you are like me in that when a sin overtakes you and you repent, you are afraid to face Him much as Adam and Eve were afraid. My mind fills with myriads of past offenses, which the enemy of my soul, not Jesus, has kept precise recordings of. I begin listening to the endless babble of failures droning in my mind. If only I would look up, I would see what my granddaughter sees, delight in a relationship restored.

Oh, the love He is! Truly His mercies are New Every Morning! The night has passed, the new dawn has come and He greets me with the same delight my daughter in law greets her girl. I see that my granddaughter and I have both learned valuable lessons.

Comparative Sin

"Look, it's not THAT bad."

This direct response given by someone dear to me, at first seemed rational, until I realized the implications of such a statement.

Does an abuse, obstruction of justice, or deviance from a law of life become allowable because in relation to a felonious act it is "Not that bad"?

Has the continual propellance of crime in our daily experiences caused us to settle for victimization that is "Not that bad"?

On a plain closer to home, let us consider a student who copies a friend's homework assignment. When confronted about this behavior, the student declares with righteous indignation, "Well, I didn't copy off an exam! This isn't that bad." The teacher is seen as the bad guy because he or she doesn't drop the issue based on this defense. Unfortunately, this scenario is all too common in the realm of education, especially at the college level.

Does God view life this way? I certainly hope not. Yet, we carry this ideology into the spiritual realm.
"Oh, come on, Jesus, looking at John's hot wife isn't so bad. I didn't sleep with her. Besides, she shouldn't dress like that when she is outside. It's not my fault.'

Do you think God will accept that answer and say, "You're right David, she shouldn't have dressed like that, and you did refrain from having sex with her when you could. You're off the hook."?

The lack of responsibility running rampant in society is due, I believe, partially to the fact that people get away with it. Where is the accountability? When no one is held accountable, sin increases. After all, why should anyone change their behavior if it doesn't cost them anything?

Another issue involved in all of this is that tolerating a wrongful behavior is the loving thing to do. After all, we all make mistakes, don't we? Surely we should give mercy and a good talking too to someone, but nothing harsher than that, because we don't want to be a contributor to a low self esteem. I am not mocking here, only making a point.

Which is more loving; to overlook bad behavior and not let someone feel bad for their actions or love them enough to stop them from themselves when they are hurting themselves or others? Would you want to be friends with a person who respects your opinion because they have been held accountable for showing disrespect in the past, or with a bully who has not been reprimanded for his behavior? Who wins in the end? The respecting individual will most likely do better in the world than the bully. So what favors are we showing by tolerating bad behavior, especially when it is shown to us? Businesses thrive when built on priciples such as respect, especially for their employees. The employees work out of love for their boss and business and go the extra mile, whereas those under the hand of a disrespectful bully, work out of fear and many times only work the bare minimun.

"Look, it wasn't that bad."

I can hear those words. Though infractions of life vary in severity, they do not vary in "wrongness." They are either right or wrong. To give into this mindset is to fall into a manipulation that changes the boundaries of what is right and wrong. The Bible warns severely about this.

The mercy I decided to show the person I spoke of in the beginning concerning our discussion was to keep the issue between the two of us. However, he is being held accountable for his actions and must face the consequences of his choice. If I do not do that, then what was "Not That Bad" will eventually become "Out of Control" as it travels to the next levels undeterred.

May God Give us Grace and Wisdom...

Beth

It's Good To Be Back!

Hello Dear Friends,
After an amazing summer, the rain barrel of experiences is once more full. My days brim with activity with family members dwelling with me. My home is rich with life and delightful experiences. We have challenges, but God has been beyond faithful to us all. I will write more later, for now, rest is calling to me....May God richly bless you all and I look forward to writing again...
All Love
Beth